In what may be our longest show ever, the gang covers a lot of ground. Part 1: Tod reveals his new technique designed to stop anyone from pressuring you into reproducing. Part 2: During an attempt to help a total stranger Tod was left feeling kinda bummed out and now has a new strategy for making the world a slightly better place. Part 3: With eyes planted firmly in their own navels the gang answers the question, “So what are you into these days”? All this, Nazi chicken and much much more!
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How dare you, Tod. “Comedy factory, not a comedy warehouse” is a Carolla saying, not a Dameshek saying.
On the subject of kindness to strangers, some #RealTalk: I say that before we wring our hands about how few random acts of kindness are performed in the world, let us also remember that this world is brimming with certifiable lunatics. A crazy bag lady once asked me if I’d give her a ride up the street a short distance and I agreed without hesitation. Big mistake. This lady would not shut up the entire ride about my car, how she was enamored with it and wanted to buy it from me. Even when we got to her destination she would not stop haggling with me about the car, claiming she had money and could buy it from me for a decent amount. Of course, her idea of a decent amount was a couple grand. Granted that’s about what my piece of shit car is worth, but then what would I do with the couple grand, buy another piece of shit car? Getting this concept across to her was difficult, and even as she got the hint that I wanted her to hit the bricks she still wouldn’t let go of this fantasy business transaction, even offering to give me her phone number in case I changed my mind. As she finally stepped out of the vehicle she still wouldn’t shut the hell up, leaving the passenger door open so I couldn’t just drive away. (I should have leaned over and closed it myself, but I was a little afraid at that point, to be honest.) I finally politely said, “Shut the door,” and she did, and I got the hell out of Dodge.
I’m not saying everyone out there who needs help is a nut, but there are so many of them who are nuts that you’re playing a game of dice every time you roll that car window down, man. I said it, man. #ConwayTalk
Here’s some more #RealTalk for you: I call bullshit on your insistence, “I’ll pay to watch Humphrey Bogart movies if they make them available.” Netflix DVDs has plenty of his films available to rent. Granted, their availability on Netflix Instant is lacking, but if that’s all that’s stopping you from watching them legally then you should admit it’s more about you being lazy than about lack of availability. Yes, it’s a pain to have to wait two or three days for a disc to arrive by mail, but that’s why you go with a multi-disc plan so you always have something to watch while you’re waiting for the next one to arrive. Besides, do these torrent downloads give you all the special features like commentaries and makings-of? (Eh, they probably do, bad argument.) I guess I’m just too full of FUD about torrents. It’s like, how do I know I’m even getting what I want when I hit that download, just because it says so? I could be loading a virus or kiddy porn onto my computer for all I know.
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